Today I feel naked and vulnerable and more than ever I wish I had his arms to lie in. I need him to lift my chin and speak sense into me and tell me I can be exposed before him. Everything feels like I’m on repeat. I’m sure I’ve done this before. Felt this pit […]
When I woke up this morning, I reached over for you. You weren’t there. I sighed and reminded myself that, oh yeah, you were at work, had left a few hours ago. I drifted on the edge of sleep for a few moments before the sinking realization slowing spread like ice across my chest. Wait. […]
He dips his pen into the inkwell. Lifts it carefully, tapping it gently on the edge of the jar before moving back to his paper. His fingertips, forever stained with the heavy black ink, never hesitate. Not a moment passes where there aren’t thoughts and ideas swirling inside his heart and mind, stories to be […]
How long will it take for the light to fade from her eyes? Before you become a soft memory? For the ache to release its grip? Oh how her tears flow! (May they stop soon.) How her shoulders shudder! How she sighs! How many hours has she given to wild desperation? To hope? To wistful […]
Your feet nearly touch the thin line, waiting, then pushing a toe tentatively nearer; you sigh wistfully, pull back gently. What delight may be held, should you ultimately cross over? Would it be to your peril or your salvation? There are risks and there are rewards to that line. You know you can’t straddle it. […]
Allison is the queen of the world. No. Not the queen. She’s the star and director. We all play our parts according to Allison’s will. Oh, Allison needs more attention, oh-no! there’s trouble at work, can you help her out?! Allison needs you to do something for her, has she told you how wonderful you […]
When I held him in my arms, he was so small. So small. I cried oh god how I cried. I asked, is there anything we can do? The doctor said, I’m sorry no, he’s just too small. I cried harder. Please, I’ll do anything, anything at all. Please. Please! Save him! Let him live, […]
And I’m searching for that calm space in my mind, as his hand is around my throat and he’s biting my shoulder and I can’t move and he’s fucking me, telling me it’s love and he’s the only one who truly loves me but I can’t move and my safe-word meant nothing and he tells […]
It dawned on me today that I am a writer. I have always ALWAYS viewed myself as an artist. Since I was a little kid able to actually think of myself as ‘something’, I’ve been an artist. One who is never quite happy with her art because the OCD surfaces: lines got to be formed […]
I’m tired. Tired of myself. Tired of my mind. Tired of the constant swirl of voices. I’m tired of being told my way of thinking is wrong. You think I don’t know?? Oh, I know. Believe me. I spend my hours thinking, thinking, thinking. I’m remembering, tallying up all the things he said and did. […]
