Broken Beyond

Nights long past when I lay there in his arms, my soul felt complete and whole. And then he went away and I lay here alone, my heart having gone with him, I am but incomplete. Lacking. Tears soak my cheeks. My pillow. I cover my face. Shame fills me for letting him in. For […]

Hesperus

every indigo evening I scoop up the night sky within the palms of my dirty earth-stained hands there’s still the dark damp soil of the day’s passing beneath my nails and the dried banks of river beds from those afternoon tears still, I pick out the stars and the space dust and the sun-smudged traces […]

The Release of Shame

When I was in high school, Jeremiah was my best friend. I lived the farthest away from that rural school than anyone else, over in the next town. Every school morning my mom would drive me the mile from our house to the elementary school to get on an elementary school bus which would drive […]

Through The Window

The first time she climbed through my bedroom window in the middle of the night I was ten and she was eight. She didn’t say anything, just clung to me beneath my purple unicorn blanket and quivered. I wrapped my arms around her and held her and cried without a word because the truth was, […]

Worthless Trash

you deleted me from your life so easily as if I meant absolutely nothing the softly spoken words the whispers and sighs the groanings and aching the dreams and realities erased dropped for someone better or more beautiful perhaps a clearer voice or a wider smile I can’t really say all I know is that […]

4:18am (Insomnia)

we held each other close dancing slowly my arms wrapped around your neck yours at my waist I stared into your eyes I felt as if I was falling or being pulled it felt weightless effortless how it felt just right to be in this moment with you and then time paused I saw something […]

Sunshine in my Pocket

I carry sunshine in my pocket, the same place I keep memories of you. It’s raining here, outside, so slipping my rainbow-stained fingers within, I touch the radiating heat of you. My defenses melt away with every glimpse of your beaming heart and gentle eyes. Those same defenses that my tears had put in place. […]

Quietly, I Love You

I think I fell in love with you This should not be possible Our love cannot be Yet whenever I think of you My heart soars and squeezes My lips smile and laugh My eyes close, as I imagine If only, what could be I know, you won’t be mine to hold You told me […]

8:42am (Insomnia)

She’s lying upon her bed She wakes, trembling violently Her jaw is wired shut Her eyelids rapidly flutter There’s a pressure on her chest Breaths in spurts and shudders There is something inside her She wants to vomit It moves to leave It wants to escape It tears and claws inside her There’s violence in […]

Journal Entries

Last night I said, “I cried less today than yesterday.” And I felt like it was some small triumph. But today I go pick up his ashes and I’m not sure how to carry on. I’ve done nothing but cry today. I cried literally from the moment I woke up to the time I went […]