Déjà Vu

Today I feel naked and vulnerable and more than ever I wish I had his arms to lie in. I need him to lift my chin and speak sense into me and tell me I can be exposed before him. Everything feels like I’m on repeat. I’m sure I’ve done this before. Felt this pit […]

So Small for a Love So Large

When I held him in my arms, he was so small. So small. I cried oh god how I cried. I asked, is there anything we can do? The doctor said, I’m sorry no, he’s just too small. I cried harder. Please, I’ll do anything, anything at all. Please. Please! Save him! Let him live, […]

Walk Away

I’m tired. Tired of myself. Tired of my mind. Tired of the constant swirl of voices. I’m tired of being told my way of thinking is wrong. You think I don’t know?? Oh, I know. Believe me. I spend my hours thinking, thinking, thinking. I’m remembering, tallying up all the things he said and did. […]

Nights Long Gone

With my face pressed to the frosted pane I stare out at the bright pinpoint stars The inky black sky a perfect backdrop Slowly they slip across my view Ever moving westward I watch them unseeing, for my eyes Observe scenes much further away To nights long gone but not forgotten Nights when you loved […]

Broken Beyond

Nights long past when I lay there in his arms, my soul felt complete and whole. And then he went away and I lay here alone, my heart having gone with him, I am but incomplete. Lacking. Tears soak my cheeks. My pillow. I cover my face. Shame fills me for letting him in. For […]

Hesperus

every indigo evening I scoop up the night sky within the palms of my dirty earth-stained hands there’s still the dark damp soil of the day’s passing beneath my nails and the dried banks of river beds from those afternoon tears still, I pick out the stars and the space dust and the sun-smudged traces […]

The Release of Shame

When I was in high school, Jeremiah was my best friend. I lived the farthest away from that rural school than anyone else, over in the next town. Every school morning my mom would drive me the mile from our house to the elementary school to get on an elementary school bus which would drive […]

Through The Window

The first time she climbed through my bedroom window in the middle of the night I was ten and she was eight. She didn’t say anything, just clung to me beneath my purple unicorn blanket and quivered. I wrapped my arms around her and held her and cried without a word because the truth was, […]

Worthless Trash

you deleted me from your life so easily as if I meant absolutely nothing the softly spoken words the whispers and sighs the groanings and aching the dreams and realities erased dropped for someone better or more beautiful perhaps a clearer voice or a wider smile I can’t really say all I know is that […]

4:18am (Insomnia)

we held each other close dancing slowly my arms wrapped around your neck yours at my waist I stared into your eyes I felt as if I was falling or being pulled it felt weightless effortless how it felt just right to be in this moment with you and then time paused I saw something […]