Wanting More

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep cutting open the wound? Reminding myself of all the ways I fail. That I don’t measure up. That I never will. I want so much more than I will ever have. Why torture myself? Why can’t I leave well-enough, alone? There is this untouchable […]

Oceans

an ocean rages inside me pours out in sobs and wails crashes against my ribcage drowning my heart, my soul streams of liquid heartache flow down tears constantly falling I was whole when you were in me you walked effortlessly across my stormy peaks and troughs now I’m dry on the outside parchment skin and […]

Hollow

every time you get up and leave your scent lingering on the sheets I want one more moment one more breath one more look one more my heart walks away when you do as you casually pull your shirt over your shoulders and adjust your belt I’m dying inside I would never have enough of […]

Winter Peace

I’ve been spending as much time as I can on my beach, letting the quiet soak into my bones and its peace cover my soul. I have a narrow road to recovery but it is these moments that I find myself able to heal, little pieces at a time. Parts of me feeling betrayed. Parts […]

Don’t Let Them

Come on, girl Don’t let them see you’re hurting Don’t let them see The pain in your eyes Smile when you’d rather cry Say you’re okay When you’d rather say you’re dying Don’t look them in the eye Be vague Can’t let them know your anguish Your broken heart Your innermost feelings Cry in the […]

A Thousand Things I Never Say

I have a thousand things to say to you. If only you would listen. Oh, you hear my words, but you don’t listen to my heart. The meaning beneath what I say. My casual, how are you today? means that I am thinking about you. And I want the very best for you. I truly […]

The Tree

There was this hole in my heart. Not a bullet hole or an old stab wound. It was a hole dug in the dirt, old broken roots poking out here and there. Dead leaves and moss on the top edges, becoming darker, richer as the layers went down. I kept falling in the hole as […]

Mind Separation

I’m pushed and pulled Taken advantage of Misunderstood Overwhelmed Long forgotten Minor distraction Shoved aside Second to last A piece of meat Obeyer of rules Follower of instructions Manipulated Redirected Less important Wet and heavy Always ready Concierge Want to be wanted Heart bursting Eyes dry Screams silenced Fists pounding Stuffed inside Control slipping Mind […]

Would You?

if I told you I was sick, very sick, terminally sick would you still love me would you walk away or would you hold me in your arms? if I told you I made a mistake, a can’t-go-back mistake would you still love me would you walk away or would you lift my head, forgive […]

Survival

the snarling dog in the corner bristles when a friendly hand reaches toward him his mangy coat and battle scars a testament of the greatest lesson learned don’t trust anyone snapping and barking even when the hand holds a strip of steak eventually the hand pulls back quits offering the dog a better life at […]