I had struggled within myself. I was working through the internal war which I always fought. The Lover, the Inflictor, the Jester, the Intellect, the Artist. We all periodically conflicted and we all occasionally worked together. Sometimes the Lover and Jester held hands and became the Flirt. At times it was the Inflictor and the […]
I remember his voice in my ear His hand on my hip Fingers gripping me tightly I remember how I came alive Beneath his ministrations How the past faded And a future became possible I remember thinking This can never work God how I wish I was wrong One day he was gone He slipped […]
There was this moment in time when I went from I really like you to I want you in my life forever. I can remember exactly where I was: standing in front of the heater in the middle of my night, the moon shining through my windows, and tears streaming down my cheeks. What was […]
I’m not who you think I am.
So I’m dogsitting/housesitting right now while my friends are on vacation. About midnight and the dogs start acting weird. I’m annoyed because I want them to be sleeping. I’m laying in bed, relaxing but not asleep yet. Ugh. Leave me alone, fucking dogs. This is why I don’t have any pets. They’re whining. Wanting on […]
I would rather have you for just a little while and then suffer a heartbreak than to have never experienced your love at all. ….At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
Sometimes I don’t understand Us There are times when you are hot And then you’re cold I’ll hear from you every day And then a week passes You’ll respond to my art with enthusiasm And then nothing You push me to be more than I am And then you get frustrated into silence Your compliments […]
Working through my current issues of depression, I’ve been soul-searching, attempting to put a finger on what the underlying issue is. I was reading a fellow blogger’s website earlier and he mentioned getting attuned to the underlying issues and remembering that there is no “fix” but to accept what is and to embrace those failings. […]
In a worst case scenario, he leaves me. Not just because he’s simply done, but because I wasn’t enough and he found someone else who meets the needs I can’t cover. The distance between us is just too great a gap to span. In a worst case scenario, he isn’t able to overcome my eccentricities […]