Ten years. Damn. It doesn’t feel like ten years. My body remembers. Remembers like it was a few months ago. My chest remembers. The ache. The brokenness. The questions. The tears… oh god, the tears. Somehow it was my fault, I’m sure of it. I’ll never forgive myself. I don’t expect anyone else to either. […]
The loss was so profound So deep So all-encompassing that it Seemed For a time As if the tears would Never End “Will I ever stop crying?” I asked the world in general In poured the platitudes The endearments The empty gestures And then she spoke up from the midst “Never. You’ll never stop crying.” […]
When I held him in my arms, he was so small. So small. I cried oh god how I cried. I asked, is there anything we can do? The doctor said, I’m sorry no, he’s just too small. I cried harder. Please, I’ll do anything, anything at all. Please. Please! Save him! Let him live, […]
When they placed him in my arms, he weighed nothing at all I didn’t even know how to hold him The moment I looked into his face, I felt something burst and bloom in my heart Something I had never felt before and never have since Even today I feel the tug of his existence […]
It was cold. Really cold. In fact, it hadn’t been over negative Fahrenheit for over a month, and it was only January. Winter lasts a long time in Alaska. It would be another two months before it would raise past single digits. Just a few days prior I had suffered a traumatic physical experience which […]
i drove to my father’s house in Massachusetts. a group of us made a large dump run for my step-mother. we even pulled the old pool table out from the basement. i held onto one end as a neighbor cut it in half so we could fit it into the trailer i felt a bit […]
Today is the release day for Brandon White’s debut poetry collection, The Year That Stole the Light Away. Here’s one of the poems you’ll find inside: DIG Every day I return, shovel in hand, and I dig. I dig to keep my sanity. I dig to find the sacred words. The words we etch into […]
A woman holds my hand. I’ve never seen her before but she’s showing me a photograph of a handsome young couple standing in front of a blue Cadillac and now she’s started crying. She keeps asking if I remember him, in the faded photograph, but I’ve never seen him or her before. She insists she’s […]
I’ve been spending as much time as I can on my beach, letting the quiet soak into my bones and its peace cover my soul. I have a narrow road to recovery but it is these moments that I find myself able to heal, little pieces at a time. Parts of me feeling betrayed. Parts […]
Come on, girl Don’t let them see you’re hurting Don’t let them see The pain in your eyes Smile when you’d rather cry Say you’re okay When you’d rather say you’re dying Don’t look them in the eye Be vague Can’t let them know your anguish Your broken heart Your innermost feelings Cry in the […]
