This Time

My mind is circling again. The demons of old are whispering in my ear and I am listening. God. Why do I listen? You’ll never be good enough. You’re not worth it. You should be a better artist. You aren’t intelligent enough. You should be sexier, more hip, in touch. He’ll never make his way […]

Concentrate (Voices Call)

Voices call and sometimes I answer Feel the cold blade How it beckons, longs To stretch across my skin Bright red ribbons Becoming darker, thicker Hot, wet, wonderful Freak! Freak! Freak! They shout into my greedy ear That’s not normal! But oh how lovely it is Stroke upon stroke A better brush and canvas An […]

Promise Ring

he gave her a ring and she stares at it with all its implications its meanings its hidden agendas and its heavy weight somehow wrapped all up in thin gold and delicate gems it fit perfectly of course it did but it also comes with unspoken broken promises late nights spent crying and yelling desires […]

Brain Infection

Dripping tar slid from glassy blues Sliding down unwashed cheeks Radiating infection as it goes Oozing Draining Permeating Filling the cracks and crevices That life had hollowed out With salt-flavored goo Covering over Spreading Pull away quick Don’t touch or you’ll get it too Eyes down Lungs dry Deep wracking breaths Shudder and sigh Desecration […]

Ribcage

cracked rib grants light an entrance but never a splinter more your surgeon’s fingers itch then reach beyond but jagged edges impart red ribbons twisting pulled tight over gooseflesh bloodshot eyes grimace let us go back to resuscitation ball of clay can’t weep precious life squeezed and molded to conform it holds its forever shape […]

Feedback Loop

you are my smiles and my laughter you are my good days and my growth you are my person through and through I won’t deny it yet here I am alone because I’m not for you (though you are it for me) I am alone I have cried bitter tears I have burst with happiness […]

Deterioration

Look how beautiful Ruby rivers running up my arms Pain in reverse Scarlet ribbons gaining speed Mixing with smeared ash If I concentrate hard enough I can pull it back inside Let it burn through my veins Coating me inside Memories boil Mind games and Lovingly licked harsh realities You did it to yourself You’ve […]

Rock Climber

I’m slipping Scrabbling for purchase I want to climb To reach your outstretched hand Yet The toeholds are small The fingerholds smaller I jam my fingers in the cracks Crevices Moss falls away Pebbles and rock slip beneath me Clattering to the valley floor I don’t want to look down But I do There are […]

Shrift

I am fucking low I’d say don’t give up on me But We all know I want you to Once he said “If you say that enough One of these days I’m going to leave” It was no surprise when he did Nowadays I’m alone More alone than I want to be On some days […]

Groping

It doesn’t matter What I say You don’t hear me I open my mouth My heart pours forth My vision speaks volumes I see deeper Beneath the layers You You couldn’t care less What I say means nothing I breathe out words You swallow and look away Your eyes are roving You look without seeing […]