spit, mixed with dirt – muddy words flow
I was reading another blogger’s post earlier titled the very same thing and I thought, yep, that’s what I need to do this morning. In times of distress and anxiety, I find it best to do this: remain ever grateful. Winter in Alaska The… Continue Reading “20 Things I’m Thankful for Today”
For nineteen years, I was beat and belittled into quiet submission. I was trained to understand I would never measure up. I laughed too loud, I talked too much, I read the wrong things, I didn’t fit in, I didn’t understand my peers. I… Continue Reading “Thoughts on a Windy November Afternoon”
Well, it’s definitely that time of year here in my part of Alaska: berry picking. And boy has it been a great year for berries. I had to put the brakes on my nearly daily forays into the woods/muskeg due to the fact that… Continue Reading “Berry Picking Photography”
I pull the sheets up to my chin. There are monsters here, but they aren’t out there. No, they reside within. Snapping their powerful jaws and flexing their pointed claws. They dig inside my brain and find all the worst parts of me. “You… Continue Reading “Under the Sheets, In My Head”
Ten years. Damn. It doesn’t feel like ten years. My body remembers. Remembers like it was a few months ago. My chest remembers. The ache. The brokenness. The questions. The tears… oh god, the tears. Somehow it was my fault, I’m sure of it.… Continue Reading “Ten Years”
The loss was so profound So deep So all-encompassing that it Seemed For a time As if the tears would Never End “Will I ever stop crying?” I asked the world in general In poured the platitudes The endearments The empty gestures And then… Continue Reading “Grief Held”
When I held him in my arms, he was so small. So small. I cried oh god how I cried. I asked, is there anything we can do? The doctor said, I’m sorry no, he’s just too small. I cried harder. Please, I’ll do… Continue Reading “So Small for a Love So Large”
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Butterwell's Blog
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