Winter Peace

I’ve been spending as much time as I can on my beach, letting the quiet soak into my bones and its peace cover my soul. I have a narrow road to recovery but it is these moments that I find myself able to heal, little pieces at a time. Parts of me feeling betrayed. Parts […]

Dear Friends

I experienced a medical emergency and I won’t be around for a while. I’m sorry about that. If I’m able to read, I will. Love and light to you all, ~tara caribou

Déjà Vu

Today I feel naked and vulnerable and more than ever I wish I had his arms to lie in. I need him to lift my chin and speak sense into me and tell me I can be exposed before him. Everything feels like I’m on repeat. I’m sure I’ve done this before. Felt this pit […]

That Fine Line

Your feet nearly touch the thin line, waiting, then pushing a toe tentatively nearer; you sigh wistfully, pull back gently. What delight may be held, should you ultimately cross over? Would it be to your peril or your salvation? There are risks and there are rewards to that line. You know you can’t straddle it. […]

Silence Brings Calm

Keep your mouth shut, little bitch. Ain’t nothing you got to say that means nothing important. Get on your knees and scrub the floors clean, clean, ever clean. Every crack and crevice, nook and cranny need special attention. Your sharp eye and a toothbrush ought to do the trick. Today. Silence surrounds. Schk-Schk-Schk. But even […]

The World According to Allison

Allison is the queen of the world. No. Not the queen. She’s the star and director. We all play our parts according to Allison’s will. Oh, Allison needs more attention, oh-no! there’s trouble at work, can you help her out?! Allison needs you to do something for her, has she told you how wonderful you […]

So Small for a Love So Large

When I held him in my arms, he was so small. So small. I cried oh god how I cried. I asked, is there anything we can do? The doctor said, I’m sorry no, he’s just too small. I cried harder. Please, I’ll do anything, anything at all. Please. Please! Save him! Let him live, […]

Calm Space

And I’m searching for that calm space in my mind, as his hand is around my throat and he’s biting my shoulder and I can’t move and he’s fucking me, telling me it’s love and he’s the only one who truly loves me but I can’t move and my safe-word meant nothing and he tells […]

Walk Away

I’m tired. Tired of myself. Tired of my mind. Tired of the constant swirl of voices. I’m tired of being told my way of thinking is wrong. You think I don’t know?? Oh, I know. Believe me. I spend my hours thinking, thinking, thinking. I’m remembering, tallying up all the things he said and did. […]