tara caribou
poetry & short story author – artist & nature lover
In the Last Light of the Evening
The leaves on the trees have become smudges, merely a backdrop I look right through. I see nothing. I see everything. Everything. You weren’t able to reach beyond the now into tomorrow. You stay in the past and try for today, but never tomorrow. It’s raining outside, smearing the hillside further. My blotchy pink cheeks are wet. Not from the rain, though. No, they are slick from the storm inside. The first rumble of thunder in the distance came the first time you turned your back. It’s all on me, baby, it’s just me. This is who I am, you said, denying my right to hold you while you were hurting. Your vow was: in health and in the good times, I am yours. When I am strong. But when the winds rose, you withered, folding in on yourself, refusing my hand, my arms, my love. Well now the thunder rolls on. The storm rages. And I will cry for us, alone.
tara caribou | ©2020-22
Read this and more in my poetry book, Four.
40 Comments on “In the Last Light of the Evening”
tara caribou 
Emotional withdrawl is such a subtle emotional abuse…very very heart felt Tara, perfect description of how our heart may break over it.
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You nailed it, Cassa. Emotional withdrawal is just as hard, if not harder, than physical withdrawal (for me).
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The feeling of being in the dark (the unknown, the shut out) is unbearable, soon we become self doubt that ‘what’s wrong with me’…the reality is quite the opposite.
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Yes!! That’s it, too. You’ve seen right into what I was trying to say.
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You expressed it spot on through your words
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Thanks Cassa. You’re the best, girl.
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Oh, wow, I love this part: “My blotchy pink cheeks are wet. Not from the rain, though. No, they are slick from the storm inside.”
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Thank you Benjamin. Interestingly, I almost deleted those lines. I always look forward to your comments.
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Oh, interesting how that can happen. You never know what a reader might like. That’s the good and sometimes hard part about writing. Again: great work!
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This is excellent, Tara! Such emotion.
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Thank you Dave. You’re the best.
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🤗🤗❤
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Beautifully poignant. It’s so hard when someone refuses help when they are hurting.
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Absolutely. May we all learn to be more vulnerable. I think we reap better rewards that way. But I think you already know that. 💕
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I feel heart broken. I suppose reading this over again and once more again, maybe means I want to feel heartbroken. Maybe I wish I had some magic power to calm the turmoil of that storm. But I don’t have magic powers, I just have love.
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Whippoorwill, I have been wanting to email you for over a month but didn’t want to intrude. I miss you. My world is a littler greyer without you in it.
Love is its own kind of magic. 💕
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I’ve missed you too, dear Tara of my heart. And word from you is never, ever an intrusion but ever and always a welcome gift. 😊💕
Even now, my heart swells fit to burst with happiness, just for the simple joy of passing the time of day with you. In this moment I feel I’m right beside you, despite the endless miles.
In my skies, a pale blue star shines.
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My beautiful friend, Whippoorwill of my heart 💕
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This is very close to the bone, Tara – a perfect study of thise emotions one feels when they slip too deeply into themselves. Sobering.
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Very much so. May we learn to step outside of ourselves and see things from other perspectives.
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Always easiet said than done!
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That’s for sure.
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A haunting piece Tara.
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Thank you so much Andrea.
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Sometimes, all the person needs, is to know, that you will be right by her/his side, as s/he, weather through the storms by her/himself, and that is, more than, enough, but sometimes, we just, feel thd need, to, step right in, to, solve the problems for the person, because we don’t want her/him to, hurt anymore, but, that only, makes the individual feel, that we don’t, respect her/him enough, to let her/him, weather through, her/his, storms on her/his, own. And, letting go, is, the hardest part of, love.
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I totally agree! Anymore, I often say: “I’m not looking for solutions, just someone to listen and sit beside me.” I also agree that the hardest part of love is letting go. Man! It’s not easy! No matter if it’s letting go due to death or simply one moving one or life circumstances or control… letting go is Hard!
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This acutely described the unhealthy dynamic in a marriage, it’s difficult to read and not feeling the pain.
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Thank you for reading, Cassa. I’m glad that it touched your heart in some way.
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Beautifully written 💖💛💫
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Thank you.
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‘My blotchy pink cheeks are wet. Not from the rain, though. No, they are slick from the storm inside.’ – as mentioned elsewhere in comments to you – a telling line indeed.
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Thanks Eric. I’ve always hated that line. (lol) I consider removing it whenever I revisit this piece but it seems essential, somehow.
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Love, unrequited is painful enough, but the gift and comfort of love rejected, that is orders of magnitude more.
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I agree with you there. Some shoulder the pain alone which others would gladly help carry, if only they would allow them to.
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I’m reminded of this:
“Drowning people
Sometimes die
Fighting their rescuers.”
― Octavia Butler
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Yes! Yes, that’s it exactly.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Tara Caribou – Darkness falling
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so beautifully rendered ~~
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Thank you Emma! 💕
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you’re welcome 🙂
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