It doesn’t feel like ten years.
My body remembers.
Remembers like it was a few months ago.
My chest remembers.
The tears… oh god, the tears.
Somehow it was my fault, I’m sure of it.
I’ll never forgive myself.
I don’t expect anyone else to either.
Longing became joy became fear became… emptiness.
Ten years ago, I learned love.
Ten years ago, love left me.
Ten years ago, I became someone new.
It sneaks up on you.
It sneaks up and pounces and shakes you between its teeth.
I get back up, bruised and shredded.
I’m a better person now, I mutter. I’ve grown.
Yes, I get back up and stumble.
Maybe today I’m on my knees.
But I get back up and keep walking.
tara caribou | ©2021
Okay… this is the last grief post from me for a while… I think. I feel bad, kinda, for off-loading all this on my readers. Thanks for reading and your continued kindness.