Doubts

Hey there Lover.

There you lay passed out
Beside me softly breathing.

We just made violent passionate love
Now you rest here sleeping.

My thighs are still shaking;
My arms, a little sore.

Tired, I find my body
But my mind, wide awake.

Doubts.

They come creeping in,
Saturating my brain.

Is it me you still want
Now that the moment has lapsed?

Would you let me know
If another catches your attention?

Or would I need to figure that out
All on my own?

I know you have a history of lovers
Who can’t seem to let you go.

I’m not jealous;
In fact, I understand their plight.

But does she ever sneak back into your mind
To replace those thoughts of me?

Is it me who holds your imagination,
Your affection, your future, your fantasies?

Do you still grip yourself, alone
When you’re away, envisioning me?

Is it me whose mouth you’re dreaming of;
My skin, my scent, my voice, my hands?

Is it possible: could I banish all memories
Of those who’ve come before?

Maybe erase all traces of them
Using only my body (and perhaps some toys)?

I want to fuck those women
Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.

“Allison? I don’t remember her.”
“Veronica? Who’s she?”
“Jamie? I think I vaguely recall…”
“So what? It’s YOU, that’s all I need.”

Doubts.

Perhaps I’m not good enough
Or I should try to be someone else.

But the fact is, I’m me
What you see is what you get.

I’m dark, I’m needy, I’m passionate,
I’m average (nothing special).

I’m soft, I’m honest, I’m in my head,
I like it rough (I can handle pain).

So there you have it, Lover,
Am I enough for you?

I’m not looking for a forever answer
Just, for now, I need…

My doubts silenced.


tara caribou | ©2020

31 thoughts on “Doubts

  1. You’re you.
    That may seem insufficient to some. While at the same time, that may also seem the WORLD to others.
    I hope you’re laying to the one who falls in the latter category.
    Being yourself is beautiful and real ❤.
    Wonderfully written as always :’)

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m sorry to hear that.
          And I can empathize with you. In fact, I had some pretty dark thoughts just yesterday. Today seems a bit better though.
          Stay strong, Tara. We’ll both get through this :’)

          Liked by 1 person

  2. This is emotionally intense. “Is it me you still want / Now that the moment has lapsed?”; “I want to fuck those women / Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.” Such masterful writing!

    Like

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