tara caribou
poetry & short story author – artist & nature lover
Doubts
Hey there Lover.
There you lay passed out
Beside me softly breathing.
We just made violent passionate love
Now you rest here sleeping.
My thighs are still shaking;
My arms, a little sore.
Tired, I find my body
But my mind, wide awake.
Doubts.
They come creeping in,
Saturating my brain.
Is it me you still want
Now that the moment has lapsed?
Would you let me know
If another catches your attention?
Or would I need to figure that out
All on my own?
I know you have a history of lovers
Who can’t seem to let you go.
I’m not jealous;
In fact, I understand their plight.
But does she ever sneak back into your mind
To replace those thoughts of me?
Is it me who holds your imagination,
Your affection, your future, your fantasies?
Do you still grip yourself, alone
When you’re away, envisioning me?
Is it me whose mouth you’re dreaming of;
My skin, my scent, my voice, my hands?
Is it possible: could I banish all memories
Of those who’ve come before?
Maybe erase all traces of them
Using only my body (and perhaps some toys)?
I want to fuck those women
Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.
“Allison? I don’t remember her.”
“Veronica? Who’s she?”
“Jamie? I think I vaguely recall…”
“So what? It’s YOU, that’s all I need.”
Doubts.
Perhaps I’m not good enough
Or I should try to be someone else.
But the fact is, I’m me
What you see is what you get.
I’m dark, I’m needy, I’m passionate,
I’m average (nothing special).
I’m soft, I’m honest, I’m in my head,
I like it rough (I can handle pain).
So there you have it, Lover,
Am I enough for you?
I’m not looking for a forever answer
Just, for now, I need…
My doubts silenced.
tara caribou | ©2020
31 Comments on “Doubts”
tara caribou 
I relate to this, Beauty. Well-written and expressed.
(I am dark and needy too, so I get it)
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Thanks, Tessa. Always these doubts and more, make their presence known in my head. They quiet somehow, for a little while, when I write them down.
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It does help to write them down, or talk to someone who can relate. I understand.
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I like doubts, as a poem, always good to keep things exciting, I always ask too many questions.
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Thanks Phil. I’m always asking myself (and others) way too many questions. But that’s how I get answers! …..er, sometimes, anyway.
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Damn!
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You’re you.
That may seem insufficient to some. While at the same time, that may also seem the WORLD to others.
I hope you’re laying to the one who falls in the latter category.
Being yourself is beautiful and real ❤.
Wonderfully written as always :’)
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This is a memory from quite some time ago. Not a reality. My doubts were realized.
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A memory as in this was reality some time back?
Anyway, I’m glad you aren’t harboring such thoughts still.
Smile and have a great day ❤
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This was something I lay awake thinking about one night. The darkness, the doubts, the clarity, the depression…. they come and go.
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I’m sorry to hear that.
And I can empathize with you. In fact, I had some pretty dark thoughts just yesterday. Today seems a bit better though.
Stay strong, Tara. We’ll both get through this :’)
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Yes, we will.
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I have hopes you find someone who sees you in a light no else can ever enter, hun.
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That would be dreamy, wouldn’t it?
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yes… and possible.
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…. I really doubt that, T. But it’s a nice dream. Sometimes I catch a glimpse, a glimmer of hope, but then reality steps in and overshadows the dream again.
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Doubts are important in LOVE … 🙂 😀
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You may be right..
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Thank You Tara… ❤
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Love it! I was tempted to say hey after the first line. 😉
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Well, SOMEbody should!!
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😂 I’d be honored, Tara. Hey! 💋💋💋
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And don’t these doubts – often fuelled by a lack of self-worth – lurk in every corner. Your poems expresses this perfectly Tara.
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I think you’re right, Chris. A lack of self-worth certainly fuels it. And when I wrote this, my self-worth was incredibly low. (Now it’s only moderately low 🙄)
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Better that than arrogance though!
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I want to fuck those women
Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.
Yeah~
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I’m not the only one, eh?
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❣Love hurts❣
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So raw, passionate and sensual.
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Thank you. Old thoughts resurrected.
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This is emotionally intense. “Is it me you still want / Now that the moment has lapsed?”; “I want to fuck those women / Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.” Such masterful writing!
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