Is naïveté my middle name? Did I make a fool of myself? Am I telling myself sweet lies to candy-coat reality? What’s really important? Is it me? I think not.
All the old habits come back to haunt me. I beg and plead but still they come back to me. I am rotting flesh and they are the flies who relish putrid meat. Naïveté is my middle name but Pathetic is my first.
I fill my ears, stuff them, really, with blood-soaked cotton. I want to believe the murmurs that make their way through. Sometimes I do. But in the end, I know it’s all lies. The oozing sludge drips off my earlobe onto my shoulder. For some reason, I lift my finger and lick it.
My first name is Pathetic and my last… is mine to keep.
tara caribou | ©2019
Changing our consciousness is hard work when the thoughts we have then nurture come out of nowhere. Wtd?
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Absolutely. It’s a battle but not one worth giving up on.
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Nothing does more to reveal ones pain than cutting yourself open physically and or…rhetorically and then claim full responsibility.
This is authentic writing, written from spilled blood drops.
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Indeed. I’m working through the pain, one layer at a time. I do believe I’m getting to the underneath stuff nowadays.
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Onions can be toxic to deal with sometimes. Blessings to help you cope and heal.
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Thank you my friend. You’re always so kind to me.
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‘What’s really important? Is it me?’ Yes! It most definitely is!
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Well, in this case, I wasn’t. But someday I hope to be. Or at least, it would be nice. I can dream anyway. Thanks for stopping by and reading Andrea! 😊
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Isn’t it sad that we seem to always revert to the tried and true things that hurt us? It’s tough to peel back the layers that hide what is really at the core. Great writing as always, Tara.
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Indeed, yes. It’s hard to pull back those layers but oh so necessary for growth.
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BTW, if I may ask, how do you put text over a photo? I’ve been trying to do that, but none of the apps that come with windows10 seems to be able to do that.
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I use an app in my phone called Over. It’s not available for PC though. But I do a bunch of graphic stuff with it and am quite pleased with it. I use the free version.
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I’m trying to get a poem I wrote onto a photo that I have and make it look like I didn’t draw on it with crayon.
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Haha! I’d be more than happy to help if you’d like me too. Email me if that’s the case ☺️
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Really? That would be awesome!
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Email sent!
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Oh but you know what? I have a few friends who use AdobeSpark and are quite happy with that as well. I’ve never looked into it. That’s just word of mouth.
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Who hurt you? I’ll come over, we can make it look like an accident.
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Come on up, Jo…
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A challenging and painful read, Tara. Such moments are, I feel, an unwelcome but perhaps necessary curse if we are to grow.
Well written.
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I agree wholeheartedly. Thank you Chris.
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It’s a hard road traveled… (I love bullshit sayings like this!)
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Totally.
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