When you’ve found the perfect love, you’ll sacrifice everything for him. A small mousy woman, she has little hope of finding love. Always a wallflower overlooked by any and all, she fades from memory as quickly as eyes pass over her. She’s a lonely young woman who is surprised and honored the day he walks up to her at the grocers and says unabashedly how her beauty washes over him. She’s smiling, looking away. He tells her he needs her number. He calls her the following night, says he can’t stop thinking about her face. She agrees to meet him. She remembers him holding the door, pulling out a seat. She remembers him handing her a drink. She remembers nervously swallowing it down. Everything blurs. She wakes in a strange place. He’s lying beside her tracing her naked bruised flesh with his fingertips. He tells her she belongs to him now. All she knows is he makes her feel special. She does everything she can to please him because she loves him and he loves her and takes care of her. He lays out her clothing each morning, determines which friends are best or worst, creates passwords she’ll remember on the new phone he gives her, always keeps her close when they go out. He asks her to do things she’s uncomfortable with but he’s so much better at knowing what she needs than she does herself. At the club he makes out with other women with her sitting next to him, her hand stroking him as he instructed under the table. A small part of her hates it but she knows she’s lucky to have him, he’s told her so over and over, and he never lies to her. The first time he covers her in bloody stripes is her own fault, she forgets to iron the shirt he intended on wearing the following day. She prepares the wrong wine for their company and doesn’t go in public for weeks after that. The bruises and cuts are much too severe and embarrass him. She brings it on herself. She’s lucky to have him, that he doesn’t throw her out in the street. He brings a better lover home, so she can watch and learn. Someday, she vows, she’s going to be worthy of his perfect love…
tara caribou | ©️2018
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a collection of short poetry from an autistic mind
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