Cracked Lens View

it never was easy to catch my breath
through the thunderstorm of fists
raining down
some imperfection to be beat out of me

the wrong look
not quick enough with an answer
a misplaced step or
I closed the door to the bathroom again

flinching and dodging never helped either
yet I always did both
kept flinching for years beyond
too quick a movement
while gesturing in conversation or
something from the corner of my eye

it wasn’t a cruel punishment coming
though I’m sure
I must have done something wrong
(it’s never easy to know
when the rules keep changing)

but that’s just my view
through a cracked lens

hairline fractures
creeping across my vision
begin to blur and blend
the world around me

an intense network of
locked down emotions
now I laugh and smile when I’m nervous
(though it never touches my ruined eyes)

I sometimes wonder if
I’ll ever really catch my breath again

tara caribou | ©️2018

*please remember, this work has nothing to do with or about or towards the blogger mentioned, simply that I used their blog name/title/tagline as a writing prompt.

AC doesn’t blog anymore but I always loved his blog name (in10se) and his tagline (my view through a cracked lens). For me, it speaks volumes. I can see that lens as a crushed windshield, or broken glasses, or a beaten face, a cracked magnifying glass, or… or … or… so many other things, depending on my mood. AC wrote several different types of works from dark soul stuff to steamy erotic stuff. All of it intense. Obviously a deep person with a lot of heavy deep thoughts. And I love that. ~tara #mygifttoyou

18 Comments on “Cracked Lens View

  1. Of all the things I was expecting or trying to guess you’ve written, a no-holds barred, sadistic beatdown was not on my list. Even remotely near it, in fact.

    So there are two ways I read this: first with an external aggressor. An actual attacker who cracks your lenses and shaping not just your view but the way you view anything at all. In that case, the quiet resignation is purely infuriating and the way it turns inward is… I dunno. I want to have the superpower of healing hugs. That’s all I’m gonna say.

    The second way I read it is with an INTERNAL aggressor. Because all too often we treat ourselves this way, skew our own perceptions based on our own self-destructive urges and not realize that we’re doing it, and since we don’t realize it, we view things through cracked lenses thinking we MUST. The quiet resignation there is more gut-wrenching than anger-inducing but it still hits home.

    So, in one word: wowza.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What I love, is that you saw both. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I wrote it, carefully choosing my lines and words, infusing it to carry both (or either) meaning. Hoping that any person reading it would read it through their own cracked lens. I’d like to say you wouldn’t know which is which in regards to me, the author. But I think perhaps, you just might. I’m just hoping that others walk away with something to mull over and chew on.

      Liked by 1 person

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