Rushing In

I’m everything
that’s wrong for you and
you’re everything
that’s right for me

you came
rushing in
overcoming the lesser
darker parts of me

you covered my toes
my ankles
my shins and knees
you flowed between my legs
and caressed my hips
my shoulders dip beneath

my last breath
as my head goes under
then
I inhaled
and in you poured
flushing my lungs

instead of drowning
it was your oxygen that
pressed in

my eyes flew open
and I came alive
screaming ecstasy and
your name kissed my throat

but
then I cling to you
in desperation
because
you’re everything good to me

I’m pulling you under
the years of clay
cementing to my skin
I’m heavy
and
even love
can’t keep us afloat
can it?

I am desperate for you
one ebb isn’t enough
I want more
I need more
you are the very blood in my veins
and I can see that
my wretchedness
is smothering

and I can’t stop myself

please
prove me wrong


©️tara caribou – 2018

36 thoughts on “Rushing In

      1. I try to listen to her. What she’s really saying. Not what I think she’s saying. Or what I wish she would say. I try to listen and actually hear her.
        But I get befuddled. I can’t trust my mind, only my heart.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. I’m trying very hard to disentangle me from her. I don’t want to stifle her. I don’t want her contaminated by my poison. My love feels tainted to me.
    And I know it’s not. I’m working on that. I know my stuff is not her stuff. But…
    I want to embrace her aloneness and be with her in it.
    But I don’t want to take it from her. It’s hers. I have no right or desire to take it.
    I want my aloneness to stand beside hers. To embrace hers.
    Does this make sense?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh I completely understand this, dear one. Many times I feel tainted as well. I feel like I ruin everyone I touch. BUT we aren’t. You hear that? You are not poison. You are not tainted. You are You. The beautiful you that was meant to be. That you that was created to enrich this world.

      I love that, that you want to stand with her and embrace her, both in your loneliness finding togetherness. This is such a wonderful thought. You really are great. And she’s so blessed to have you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So, you will believe that you are worth so much more than you think? You will believe you are the perfect soul as seen by those who love you? You will speak only life?

        Those are things I can witness.

        Like

      2. What I don’t want is for you to hold it all in. That’s what you have done before and we all know that’s not right. And believe me, I am guilty of this. I can’t say something nice or something someone wants to hear and so I stop talking. This is why I write. Because I let the ink speak for me. Right or wrong, it is what it is.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. And I’m not completely sober right now so I probably shouldn’t be writing. And yet I am. I may regret this tomorrow when I read what I’ve written. I won’t name what I’m under the influence of though. Just that I must quell the passion and I feel the tar coming.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, first off: the way you put the imagery out is absolutely mesmerizing. I mean that, I LOVED the way this progressed. The tide coming in, the flood first hitting your toes, up your legs, waist, neck and then you get submerged completely. It is THE way to express what is being expressed. Sublime, is the word I think.

    Now, I also like the “outside as well as in” point here – that you don’t just get submerged but then it flows inside you, and the metaphor extending further to your “cement shoes” so to speak pulling the best parts of “the water” down.
    Then we have the “wretchedness” that makes the entire experience somewhat baptismal.

    Overall it’s not you drowning in them (whoever they may be) or your own self-assured wretchedness, but more the riptide between them. So you are drowning yourself, in a way, but not entirely of your own volition.

    Powerful, this one. My head is a bit muddled right now, but powerful this poem is.

    Liked by 1 person

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