Knocking

Don’t come knocking
I’m hardly worth your time
This heart is scarred, jaded
While I long for more
Something true and deep
Love overcoming
Overwhelming
Covering all
It’s simply just a lie I tell myself
What I want so bad
Could actually be mine
Just once
Just this once
Truth be told it’s probably best this way
I would give myself to you
Heart, body, and soul
Yet I know
Deep within
I’m mud
I’ll ruin everything good about you
I want you
I don’t deserve you
You’re the one for me
So I call out to you
Cry out to the heavens
I love you!
So you reach back
And I slap your hand away
Turn aside
Turn away
Don’t come knocking
I’m hardly worth your time


©️tara caribou – 2018

29 thoughts on “Knocking

    1. I go back and forth. I want to be enough, I want to be loved for who I am, but I know I have huge personality flaws that make me undesirable. So, I try to work on those. For me. For others. But I also don’t want to lose the core of who I am in the process either. Been there, done that. I want someone who can walk with me on that journey but also can’t fathom putting this tar on anyone either. Back and forth.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know the feeling. Then again, I live by the saying: “Everything is desirable to someone.” Someone who, if you are lucky to meet them, who won’t necessarily like those sides of you but will try to understand them and accept them as exactly that (parts of YOU, parts of the whole) makes all the difference in the world.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. That’s all theoretical for me, but that is how I envision it, yes. Someday? Eh. For me, I highly doubt it. But some days I have hope. I have this knack for falling in love with those who don’t return my love. I call myself a doomed romantic, lol.

        Like

    1. Gotta say, i second that. Great piece, but so sad in it’s brutal self-flagellation. You have such an ability to capture how everyone feels at some point. Just don’t put down the roots….reach for the blue skies 🙂
      (But secretly, thank you for all these posts!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. See! If I didn’t feel this way, who’d write it out? (I’m kidding, lots of people do…) I’m at this place where I feel this way, then I let it go, then I come back to it. Round and round. Maybe one day I’ll be able to let go for good.

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