Painted Mirage

could I ever be the one for you?

perhaps I need to slice off my face
sew hers there
whip stitches binding
always the mask of a smile
never any tears

perhaps I should cut off my breasts
find a pair that are shaped perfectly
and are the exact same size
a matching set

perhaps I need to rack up my legs
stretch them out thin and long but
not too fast
so they won’t break

perhaps my new lips need
just the right color
red shimmering rubies
to suck you to oblivion
sexy words the only thing
to cross them

perhaps my eyes need
the proper amount of dusky shadow
applied perfectly each stroke
lovingly painted on so that
you’ll be drawn to my shining blues

perhaps what I should do is coat my skin
in attention grabbing scents
masking alcohol that
doesn’t quite dissipate but lingers
a shroud of lust-inducing tingles

perhaps I should rip every stray body hair
so I’m always smooth and silky
a glossy magazine
ready for your hungry touch

perhaps I need to obsessively brush
and bleach and dye and curl
and straighten and style my hair
make sure it’s soft and shiny
but not a strand out of place
carefully arranged
to make me look twenty pounds lighter

speaking of which perhaps
I should put out the cash
let them surgically alter my chin
and my belly
my ass and my lips
until I’m stretched tight
and there are the proper amount
of curves and the correct amount
of bones showing through

and I’ll tan my skin
to that perfect shade
and then maybe
just maybe
I’ll be good enough for you

maybe you won’t care
about the inner
imperfect tar-covered me
the outer me will no longer be me
but will be her

the perfect her
who lights up your eyes
the her
you don’t mind walking beside in public
the her
you dream of late at night
and when you first rise

tell me could I be good enough then?
would you then want me?

make me look just like
the she you once knew
the one who you still hold
in your memories

I won’t be me
I’ll be her
but at least then
you’ll notice me as a woman
and I’ll be the one in your arms

finally for once enough

a painted mirage
overlaying the scarred up me


tara caribou | ©️2018

15 thoughts on “Painted Mirage

  1. I will take a genuine woman who drips passion and exudes authenticity over a synthetic mould who drips acrid, melted plastic. Every night of the week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right. I think far too often people look only on the outside… or perhaps more damning, see others through the lens of “someone they once knew or loved”. No one will ever measure up to that idea, the dream of someone you lost or desire. Perhaps looking right through a potential lover or friend because all they can see is that one unattainable or lost person.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I think a lot of times people believe that having the outer bits looking just right will solve their problems or land them their “dream guy or girl”. Being fake instead of real. Those are my thoughts anyway.

      Like

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