Burning Excuses

I wandered around in a fit of worry
Wringing my hands
Sighing and moaning
Swiped my fingertips across my forehead

This doesn’t make sense
How can it be?
There’s no explanation
It couldn’t work out
I see no viable ending
Does he really know me?
We’re too far apart
What does he see?

And on and on and on and on

Excuses, pushes, denial
Trembling, I dialed his number

“It would never work,”
I whispered
“This doesn’t even make sense….”

Line silent in pregnant pause

Words then tumbled from my lips
One upon another in a jumble
Pouring out, piling around his feet

“We’ve only just met…
I’m no good…
You realize I destroy what I touch?

“What if, what if, what if, what if…?
I’m not what you think I am…
What do you even see in me?
I’ve been hurt before….

“Please say something….”

Another pause

I could hear him
Pushing the words away with his toe

A match striking

Flames crackling, excuses burning

Still silence

My phone pinged with a text
Pulling it from my ear, I saw there
The image he had sent

And in a moment of clarity I realized
I had been thinking about this all wrong

Thinking, thinking, overthinking
Love wasn’t a head thing
It was conceived within the heart
And there it grew

And I would spend my whole life
Understanding it

tara caribou | ©️2018

8 thoughts on “Burning Excuses

  1. Love this. We do overthink love and handle it in a rational way when it is actually about the irrational and surrendering to loss of control. That can be a scary sensation if we’ve been hurt before but it is the only way to feel the full transcendent power of love.

    Liked by 1 person

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