28 Hours (Insomnia)

Scratch Scratch Scratch
Click Drag

Scissor claws descending
Twilight disappearing
Eyes lifted high
Still sageing
Blankets wrapped tight

Scrape Pull

Who’s there?

Whir Click Whirrrr

Heavy weight
Then suddenly light
Lifting higher, higher
Looking down

Laying there
Crying pitiful sobbing

Whimpering
Whispering
Wondering
Wishing

Husshhh Scrape Sshhh

Begging
and Praying

Please dear God
Release

Click Scratch

Trembling eyes
Gritty sandy eyes

Head full
Letters and spaces
Tumbling out
Dropping like blood
Filling pages upon pages
….Upon pages

Don’t be so fucking nice to me
Let me go

K-sshhhh Switch

Just
Let me go

Whirrr
click
Thump


Yesterday I struggled with my OCD’s obsessive thinking and I went 28 hours without sleep, near the end of which I scratched this out, and while that’s not a long time really, with my overstimulated mind and my worries and fears roiling at the surface, it was more than I could handle. And I got help from a couple friends to whom I am so grateful. First KR who talked to me for hours as I was fading fast but he virtually held me firmly in reality. Then Nitin who not only listened but who also shared a YouTube song with me to which I was able to trance out to and finally fall asleep for a short time. Thank you. Neither of you realize how much you mean to me. I needed you. Literally needed. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude.

9 thoughts on “28 Hours (Insomnia)

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