Confessions (heart release)

I want to run
far far away I
feel myself
slipping
I want to fly fast
away from you
and us
and my feelings for you

I’m scared
the way you make me seem
more like me
more like myself
the me I envision
she wants to be
set free
but what of these walls
bricks made
the memories
past hurts and lies and
wrongs against me
I couldn’t possibly
leave them behind

could I?

you
you release passion in my soul
a few quiet words
spoken over the phone and
I’m lost
and found
swimming in your voice

I can’t do this
forget my clothes
my shoes
I’ve ripped open the door
and I’m running fast
down my drive
down the road
down the highway

on the bed lies my phone
your last words
in a bubble beside your face
still staring at the ceiling

the tears on my cheeks
mixed with the rain that’s
pouring down
around me
glancing off my naked flesh
sluicing
spreading
coating
my breath in ragged gasps
bursts from my lungs
falling to my knees

is that me screaming?
fuck!
fuck!

fuuuuck!!

why you?
why now?
of course it’s you
I lied about that
it always was
before I could even understand
how it was possible and
I tried
to cover it up
hide it away
bury the realization in
a tiny corner of my heart
I love you, okay??

there, I said it, alright?

I
Love
You

….now what?


©️tara caribou – 2018

11 thoughts on “Confessions (heart release)

      1. We have to keep hope alive. We just HAVE to! Otherwise…. what do we have? I keep repeating it to myself, shine Light in dark places. Shedding the Light of Truth onto the lies we believe, the lies we’ve been told, the lies we tell ourselves. If there is light then there can’t be darkness. Let’s keep fighting, okay?

        Liked by 1 person

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