Doubts

Hey there Lover.

There you lay passed out
Beside me softly breathing.

We just made violent passionate love
Then quickly you fell asleep.

My thighs are still shaking;
My arms a little sore.

Tired I find my body
But my mind is wide awake.

Doubts.

They come creeping in
Saturating my brain.

Is it me you still want
Now that the moment has lapsed?

Would you let me know
If another catches your attention?

Or would I need to figure that
All out on my own?

I know you have a history of women
Who can’t seem to let you go.

I’m not jealous;
In fact, I understand their plight.

But does she ever sneak back into your mind
To replace those thoughts of me?

Is it me who holds your imagination,
Your affection, your future, your fantasies?

Do you still grip yourself, alone
When you’re away, envisioning always me?

Is it me whose mouth you’re dreaming of;
My skin, my scent, my voice, my hands?

Is it possible: could I banish all memories
Of those who’ve come before?

Maybe erase all traces of them
Using only my body, perhaps some toys?

I want to fuck those women
Right. Out. Of. Your. Brain.

“Allison? I don’t remember her.”
“Veronica? Who’s she?”
“Jamie? I think I vaguely recall…”
“So what? It’s YOU, that’s all I need.”

Doubts.

Perhaps I’m not good enough
Or I should try to be someone else.

But the fact is, I’m me
What you see is what you get.

I’m dark, I’m needy, I’m passionate,
I’m average (and nothing special).

I’m soft, I’m honest, I’m in my head,
I like it rough (and can handle pain).

So there you have it, Lover,
Am I enough for you?

I’m not looking for a forever answer
Just, for now, I need…

My doubts silenced.


©️tara caribou – 2018

24 thoughts on “Doubts

    1. I agree with Tessa (even on the dark and needy part 😏) this was very well written and beautifully expressed. Even more so, I think it is relatable to many.

      We are often our own worst enemies and doubt is our weapon of choice. We doubt ourselves, our relationships, or even others at times. Getting it out and clearing the mind or the air is often the best medicine. Anyways, another insightful poem/post.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. AC,
        I loved your phrase “doubt is our weapon of choice.” How true! It causes serious damage to the best of relationships.
        (So I have to ask…you agree that I am dark and needy, then?)

        Like

      2. Nope. I don’t think it is. There’s a time and place for everything. For me, it’s about being there and shining a light on the darkness, embracing it, because it is part of the person. Without it, they aren’t complete and by not allowing it out, they aren’t being themselves. Needy can be varying, depending on what kind of “needy” you’re referring to. But, again, when they are needy…it should be fulfilled. That’s just me though.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. hhmmmm good response, thank you. I can see I need to put some energy towards these thoughts. … … … I almost added more there, but deleted it as I believe it might be TMI. Again, thank you for giving me something to chew on.

        Like

  1. You’re you.
    That may seem insufficient to some. While at the same time, that may also seem the WORLD to others.
    I hope you’re laying to the one who falls in the latter category.
    Being yourself is beautiful and real ❤.
    Wonderfully written as always :’)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sorry to hear that.
        And I can empathize with you. In fact, I had some pretty dark thoughts just yesterday. Today seems a bit better though.
        Stay strong, Tara. We’ll both get through this :’)

        Liked by 1 person

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